This Is the Story of a Girl

It's the late 90s and a blonde girl, about 11 or 12 years old, browses the cable directory of her family's living room television. She reaches TNT, where the usual episodes of Kung Fu: The Legend Continues, Xena: Warrior Princess, and The Adventures of Superman are scheduled within the day. Between Kung Fu and Superman is a title she has never seen before, and it is starting in 15 minutes. Navigating over to it, she reads the description. The words "vampire" and "cop" grab the attention of her ADHD brain. She has to watch it.

Either that or I was looking for Night Court on demand and found this instead. I do not remember exactly.

This was my introduction to Forever Knight. I liked it, but it was competing with Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network, which had back-to-back programming that I enjoyed. And my parents had to be in their room, outside, or out of the house for me to watch it.

Before I knew about the real world, I loved cop shows that were simple enough for my brain to keep up with, like COPS, Rescue 911, America's Most Wanted, Diagnosis Murder, and Bonkers (Google says it counts). And I was obsessed with vampires. So much so that my evangelical parents did not let me watch anything with vampires in it, nor talk about vampires. If I could get away with anything vampire, I was all about it.

Fast forward about two decades. Cable has become nearly obsolete. My wife and I had not had cable in 15 years. Streaming is the new cable. I'm up to my ears in British cop procedurals and murder documentaries. Occasionally I would look for the show online with no luck. This year, I found it and I wondered if it still held up to what I remember.

It's terrible, it's great, it's hilarious, and there is much thirst (all puns intended). I am still obsessed with vampires, and I still enjoy cop shows that do not take place in the United States. It makes them easier to watch. Yet this is only half of the reason why I love this show. The other half is a series of coincidences that happened right after I discovered it, my "age of trauma" (I'll try to make the sob story brief).

Trauma disorders start somewhere and mine started around this point. For me, I was not properly diagnosed until my 30s. Age regression is something that can help work through trauma, to go back to a happy place before the bad times. When the intro to the first episode started, I was instantly an adolescent again, on my parents' couch eating sour blue raspberry candy. It was soothing, safe, and reminded me of happy moments. Nick Knight is a safe male protagonist, especially for the 90s. There was less mainstream awareness of consent, rape culture, and female body autonomy 25 years ago. You could trust your drink with Nick. You could be drunk or unconscious in his presence. For a mentally healthy woman, that is reassuring. For someone with trauma and trust issues, it's captivating.

So, enjoy. May this blog break down the good, the bad, and the sexy of a silly vampire cop procedural from the early 90s. May it make you laugh, roll your eyes, and perhaps if you have seen the show before, remember this endless Forever Knight.